Are You in a Sexless Marriage?

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I know that some people suffer from physical, emotional, medical, and other such conditions that prevent or at least hinder them from enjoying or participating in sex. Since his seniority had accrued to what it had he was making plans first to get off of second shift the next Monday. If a man finds that reading here makes him sad or bitter, he needs to step away for a while. I have seen thousands of couples heal from a sexless marriage and wish you the best on your journey.

We did fine until my mother in law started telling my wife and we should and should not do. Because it happened to me!

Intimacy in Marriage

Is there less sex than you feel is appropriate in your marriage? Let me qualify what I have said above by saying that if you want sex every night and your spouse only wants sex three times a week, you are not living in a sexless marriage. If you want sex every night or three times a week and your spouse wants sex once every three months, you are living in a sexless marriage. Your spouse may disagree. Having sex once a month or once every three months may fulfill their need for sex. In their mind, they are not living in a sexless marriage because their sexual needs are being met. The problem lies when there is a huge difference in the of two spouses. The definition of a sexless marriage is not dependent upon whether or not there is no sex in the marriage but on the effects of differing sex drives in the marriage. For example, Jay could care less about sex. Janice had a healthy sexual appetite and meeting her sexual needs meant sex at least three times a week, not every three months. Janice had no control over getting her needs met though because when it came to sex, Jay was calling all the shots. Sex was on his terms because in his mind they had a healthy sex life. After all, his needs were met and to him, that meant there were no problems. Situations like the one above are not uncommon. Maybe you are and are familiar with feeling undesirable, unattractive and unwanted by your spouse. Do not make it about your level of attractiveness or desirability. It is not about you, it is about your spouse. Is there a way to fix a sexless marriage? Being able to fix the problem depends on what is causing the problem. Identifying what is causing the lack of sex is your first step; secondly, you must take steps at finding solutions for the causes. Most importantly, though, both spouses have to be on board with working on the intimacy problems in the marriage. No Time For Sex Working, paying the bills, household chores, and parenting responsibilities can wear both spouses down. These are the most common reasons one or both spouses spend less time thinking about and engaging in sex. What is the cure for this cause? Making time for rest and relaxation. Understanding that if there is no intimate and emotional bond between you and your spouse, all that hard work is for nothing. In the end, the lifestyle you are working so hard to maintain means nothing if you No one marries with the intent of becoming nothing more than roommates with their spouse. It is also healthy to let your partner know if you are less than satisfied with your sexual relationship. More sex talk can lead to more sex in the marriage! Another aspect of the importance of communication has to do with communication in general. Even when you aren't communicating about sex, a spouse who feels listened to is more likely to feel respected which leads to a spouse being more open to intimacy in the relationship. So, bottom line, when communicating with each other, show you are listening, show you understand and show you are willing to see things from your spouse's perspective. Depression Lack of sex or lost sex drive can be caused by depression. There are many reasons why your spouse may feel depressed. Insist that a professional consulted about your spouse's depression. Offer your support but make it clear that you will not accept your spouse ignoring their condition and not seeking help. Anyone suffering from depression needs to know they have support from those who love them. Childhood Sexual Abuse In the example above, Jay had been sexually molested as a young boy. As a result, Jay developed a skewed view of sex and intimacy. Neither is safe ground and until Jay deals with the molestation, he suffered as a child his marriage and wife will suffer. If you are in such a situation, it is important to understand that your spouse needs your support. Either learn to live with the lack of sex in your marriage or divorce. Again, I want to stress that this is not something you should internalize and take on as reality. Just because your spouse does not find you attractive does not mean you are not attractive. The can ebb and flow. It is not unusual in a marriage to go through periods where we feel a lack of desire for our spouse. What you have to do when faced with this issue is determine if there is still love present. If your spouse loves you but is going through a phase and not feeling that old spark I suggest you work at rekindling the spark. Work together as a couple at bringing back a little romance and connecting both emotionally and physically.

I did suggest a sex counselor one time and my husband had a Fit, there was no way he was gonna go see a sex counselor. So I went ahead and got married to him. How can porn piece a marriage kill your sex life when your not having sex anyway. I could sure use a big heaping helping of that right now. My husband is military as well and we waited to have sex til marriage. I mourn the loss of my sol. If anything, that approach will likely just get you more of what you have been getting — no sex. So I guess this is sacrifice. When we are dating we look for someone we love someone to spend the rest of our life with. As a man, as much as you zip to share sex with your partner, you find it difficult do have desire, not looking for sexless marriage the sex, but sex with your partner I am not saying you are thinking of having sex with someone else here.